Bandit Kings of Ancient China - NES

this game has its ups and downs. It starts out well, hot and piping out of the oven, a deep dish of baked maccaroni and cheese. After the midway point, you'll find that the game crafter's keen sense of edgy originality has began to wear off, and the cheese has began to crust around the rim of the corning ware dish that sits proudly on display until sunday's after service dinner.

This has taken over like a mid tennessee kudzu, leaving a dry pasty cheese buildup, and ultimately ruining the montage of warm, creamy, flavorful goodness that sat steaming before you, not 30 minutes prior, on the hot pads that were so carefully knitted by aunt gladys last fall.

By the time this game has peaked at the final level, your lower intestines will have muscled throught the processed cheese food enough to form a large, turtlebacked fecal mound, within your innards, and has comlpleted its larvae state into a full blown "big brown dog, barkin' at the back door". As you work your way to the final scene, and the nearest toilet, I reccomend a handy supply of soft bath tissue, which will aide in keeping the sweat that accumulates on your furrowed brow, from dripping down into your eyes, causing more irritation than needed before turd birth.

You'll find the last boss challenging, but not nearly as challenging as you'll find it diffcult not to yelp audibly, as the maccaroni and cheese loaf, the size of a 2 liter coke bottle, passes from the "back door" to the deluge of rio grade tap water, waiting within the bowl beneath your flexing 'O' ring. After your much needed victory, and a whole can of Glade cinnamon scented bathroom spray, relax, take a deep breath, and go back for seconds.